Do you think you know your partner? 10 questions from a couples councillor to find out

Licensed couples therapist and internet sensation Jeff Guenther, Therapy Jeff on TikTok, has shared 10 viral questions to determine how well you know your partner.

Whether you’ve been married for 20 years or it’s a fresh relationship, these are great to get to know someone in a more meaningful way.

The questions go beyond the usual suspects: “What’s your dream holiday destination?” or “Do you like pineapple on pizza?” Instead, you’ll ask yourself how in tune you are with your partners’ love language, go-to stress relievers and celebrity crushes.

For long-term beaus, they offer a way to increase intimacy, and for people in the early days of a relationship, they might just expose some hidden red (or green!) flags.

Proceed with caution though, some of these questions aren’t for the faint-hearted. One commenter pointed out “these just started an argument, thank you”. So, here are 10 questions to ask yourself and your partner to test how well you really know each other:

1. What’s the first subtle sign that your partner is annoyed with you?

Does your partner go from chatterbox to terse one-liners? Recognising these swift shifts can help you dodge irritation before it blows up.

2. What’s the most effective move or phrase to use in order to get your partner in the mood?

Is it a sultry compliment, a tantalizing touch, or an inside joke that sparks bedroom fireworks? Maybe it’s a subtle gesture, a certain phrase, or just the right atmosphere that sets the mood…

3. When they’re stressed, what do they find more helpful: venting, problem-solving, distraction or giving space?

Are they the vent-and-rant type, or prefer a solo cuppa for stress relief? Understanding their coping strategies helps maintain harmony in a relationship.

4. What feels more loving to them: cuddles on the couch, being told why you love them, or having dinner made and the house cleaned for them?

Does a cosy chat, a romantic gesture, or a home-cooked feast melt their heart? Mastering their love language turns everyday moments into love notes.

5. On a scale of one to 10 how would your partner rate the first time you “did it”?

Was it a perfect 10 or a work-in-progress five? Decode the rating system to spice up your romantic repertoire.

6. What does your partner see as the biggest imbalance in your relationship that could lead to long-term resentment?

Are household chores like a teetering tower of Jenga? Address the lopsidedness before it becomes a game of relationship tumble.

7. What are one short-term and one long-term goal your partner is striving for?

From immediate triumphs to long-haul ambitions, be in the know about your partner’s game plan. It’s a match-winning strategy for a lasting connection.

8. Which family member is your partner feeling most connected to right now?

Family dynamics are a bit like the weather—ever-changing. Get the latest forecast on their family ties for a smooth ride through shared experiences.

9. What’s one of their most cherished memories from your relationship?

Maybe it was a surprise date, a thoughtful gift, or a shared adventure. Revisit those highlights to reinforce the positive aspects of your relationship and strengthen your emotional connection.

10. Who’s their celebrity crush they’d possibly leave you for if they had the chance?

Beware — this question might invite some unintended jealousy. While they swoon over Kate Winslet, you might lean towards the timeless allure of Hugh Grant. It’s all in good fun, though, adding a zesty twist to your relationship banter.