Careers expert shares phrase you ‘never say’ to manager during a 1-1
If you’re contemplating a job change or aiming for a promotion this new year, a career expert‘s advice might be just what you need.
Lisa Villegas, a Career and Communication Strategist, has highlighted a crucial question to be mindful of during one-on-one meetings with your manager or potential employers.
Taking to Instagram, Lisa shared a reel offering her guidance, which quickly gained popularity, amassing over 1,000 likes. The video featured Lisa, smiling at the camera, with an overlaid text reading, ‘If your manager asks this in your 1:1, be careful how you answer.’
The question she referred to was, ‘What do you think you need to work on?
Lisa cautioned: “This isn’t a casual conversation, even though it sounds like one. Be strategic.”
In the accompanying caption, she elaborated: “This question feels supportive… conversational even! It sounds like self-reflection. It feels like your manager wants to help. But it’s actually evaluative.”
She further explained: “Here’s what most people don’t realise – Managers don’t remember every detail of your performance, They remember patterns.
“When you say, ‘I need to be more confident’, what gets remembered is: she lacks confidence.”
To illustrate her point, Lisa presented a hypothetical situation where two high-performing employees are vying for a single promotion, and leadership asks the manager to determine who is ready.
She then wrote: “Your manager recalls: ‘She mentioned she’s still working on confidence.’
“That doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means someone else feels clearer.”
Instead, Lisa recommended people framed growth around skills and scale instead of self-doubt.
She suggested swapping, ‘I need to speak up more’, for ‘I’m sharpening how I bring forward recommendations earlier in discussions’.
Instead of saying, ‘I struggle with executive presence’, Lisa recommended telling the manager, ‘I’m focused on communicating at a more decision-ready level as scope increases’.
She added: “Same honesty. Very different signal.
“Don’t let what feels like a casual conversation stall your well deserved promotion!
“Interviews don’t stop once you’re hired… every conversation is an opportunity to communicate your value.”
People were loving the advice, as one person told Lisa: “This reframing changes how self-reflection is perceived at work.”
While another added: “Self-reflection and controlling what you can control are the real flex, plus with a good attitude, gets you where you need to go!”.
