Family ‘don’t want friends’ to go on holiday with them

Family getaways can be truly magical experiences – whether your preference is for far-flung destinations, city breaks, or simply relaxing on the beach with a drink while the children play in the waves, there are few things better. While some families prefer intimate breaks with just their immediate relatives, others enjoy going away alongside friends and extended family.

For many, this arrangement proves ideal – larger groups often benefit from reduced costs per person, while providing precious opportunities to reconnect with those you don’t see regularly enough. However, when holidaymakers have differing expectations, tensions can arise. One Reddit user recounted how a joint family holiday with friends hadn’t quite met expectations.

“We’re family friends with another couple,” they explained. “Nice people, kids similar age, similar background. We meet occasionally. We travel a lot more than they do, especially internationally.

“Last year we did a beach vacation together and realised our travel styles are very different. We like exploring local food, culture, and non-touristy experiences; they prefer safe, structured, hotel-organised tours and sticking together at all times. They tend to stick to theme parks and some adventure sports. There was no conflict, but we felt constrained and like we had to carry them along, show them the ropes.”

And now the situation has become more complicated as their friends are eager to accompany them on their next getaway, reports the Mirror. They explained: “Now we have an upcoming multi-city international trip already booked. They recently found out and are very keen to join.

“We’ve tried gently discouraging them (cost, timing), but they’re pushing for our full itinerary and hotels. Sticking together on a beach resort was one thing, but traveling to a new country is going to be vastly different and painful for us to coordinate.

“They seem oblivious to this, plus feel that they would have a hard time going on such a trip on their own. We don’t want to hurt the friendship, but we’re dreading repeating the same dynamic. How do we politely dissuade them from joining without being rude?”

Reddit users offered various pieces of advice. One commented: “‘We want to go with just our family’. It’s rude of them to invite themselves, and put you in an awkward situation, and you have every right to say no. It sounds like they need a cruise.”

Another recommended: “Yeah, when someone is that forward and doesn’t take the hint, I have ZERO problem being blunt in return. I would flat out to say to them ‘This is a trip we are planning for our family only. No one else is invited’. It’s not rude, but it is to the point and leaves no room for interpretation.”

A different user proposed an alternative approach, saying: “Just go with them and do your own thing. Last time it sounds like you compromised. This time they can compromise, or not.

“Just because you go somewhere with someone it doesn’t mean you have to do the same things, anyone who argues otherwise is – frankly – a little immature. Do your thing, they might come, they might not – then arrange to meet for dinner that evening and you’ll have something to talk about.”

Another chimed in: “Just be adults and tell them the truth! We love you but we don’t have similar travelling styles, we feel that we would have to show you how things work and we just are not up for that this time around. We would be keen on doing a more relaxed trip with you, perhaps a weekend trip to go camping or to the beach (if you want this). I would expect and like my friends to be honest with me!”

A different user shared their own tale, which took an unexpected turn. “Everything about this story is somewhat triggering for me,” they confessed.

“My parents were friends with another couple who had a child around the same age as me and my brother. They were family friends who came over a lot and started inserting themselves into our family’s trips and BBQs.

“Long story short, both couples cheated with the other spouses. Once they figured out they were having simultaneous affairs, they all divorced, switched partners, and remarried. Their son is now my step brother on both sides.”