Transgender darts star Noa-Lynn van Leuven opens up on panic attacks | Other | Sport

She’s been shunned by opponents and her own Dutch team-mates, suffered bullying, booing and even had death threats.

But at Alexandra Palace, pastry chef Noa-Lynn van Leuven will be riding the crust of a wave – and hoping she will be remembered for her darts, not her transgender back story.

Van Leuven, who qualified for the Paddy Power PDC World Championship through a top-two finish in the Women’s Series, has endured a rocky road to her first-round date with compatriot Kevin Doets next Tuesday.

The winner will set a booby trap for former world champion Michael ‘Bully Boy’ Smith, and she is unsure what kind of reception awaits her from the fancy dress legions at Alexandra Palace.

But Van Leuven has a defiant message for the haters: “It doesn’t matter who you are or what you are – just respect each other.”

Respect has not always been on tap backstage, where two-time WDF World Masters champion Deta Hedman boycotted her Denmark Open quarter-final against Van Leuven seven months ago because she refuses to compete against transgender opponents in women’s tournaments.

And Dutch players Anca Zijlstra and Aileen de Graaf quit the Netherlands women’s team because they didn’t want to play with Van Leuven.

“I just love this game, so I will keep playing it,” said 28-year-old Van Leuven, whose nickname is The Duchess. “I have had panic attacks and my depression got worse – that’s all because of social media and that is so wrong.

“Of course, sometimes I am thinking, OK, is it all worth it? Especially when my team-mates pulled out of the Dutch team, I got so many hate (messages) on my socials.

“People were recognising me on the street. Most of them were fine with it, they came up to me and were really supportive. But because of those messages, I was also getting death threats. How many? In that period, on a daily basis.

“Deta Hedman and I were never really close or talking to each other. We had some talks, but for the last year and a half we haven’t spoken and I don’t have the feeling that we should. I respect her opinions – I respect anyone’s opinions. Mine are different to hers.”

Bullied at school when she began to doubt her identity, Van Leuven began her transition at 16 years old – and the bullying still goes on.

“It is still a burden. People are like, ‘I’m fine with bullying someone as long as I am not the one getting bullied.’

“Well, I think I have shown myself now multiple times in periods where I get so much hate and I just go out there and win a tournament. I guess it just motivates me more, whenever people are being terrible to me.”

Behind the scenes, men’s world champions Luke Humphries and Michael van Gerwen have been supportive, with MVG appearing in a video at last month’s Grand Slam telling spectators that “bullying is not cool.”

And Cool Hand Luke telling the keyboard cowards to lay off Van Leuven “because she’s done nothing wrong.”

Van Leuven is grateful for their influential voices, saying: “I really appreciate the fact that they are taking the time to answer those questions.

“The crowd reactions at the Grand Slam was a bit mixed. At one end, when I hit good scores, they were cheering for me. But there were also a few people in the that were booing me.

“I think you could hear it on television because I got some messages from people back home and they were like, ‘The crowd were s***’ – but it didn’t really put me off my game.”

Does Van Leuven see herself as a trailblazer? “Yeah, might be. Look, I needed those people when I was still doubting myself.

“There was one show on TV in Dutch called ‘He’s a She.’ There were two people on the show who really showed me how life can be, how important it can be to just be yourself. It’s funny because one of them is now my hairdresser.”